I know, I know, I promised a couple of people a rant on the compulsary ID cards, that the Labour Party intend on bringing into effect, and that the only political party who oppose it are the Lib Dems... anyways, I'm far too happy to be so much of a grumpy old man and start ranting on about political stuff today.
BECAUSE!! My band played a quasi show today, at my colleges "FECFEST", so named after the refectory where it was screened from the TV Studio was in the refectory, lovingly nicknamed, The Fec.
And it was brilliant, I forgot lyrics to Man! I Feel Like A Woman, but because we were playing such absurd songs people loved it, everyones faces lit up when we burst into the theme from Arthur (Believe In Yourself by Ziggy Marely & The Melody Makers) we had folks skanking. Overall we had great fun with it, especially when our bassist Mully got on stage and we played our original song "UK Fans Can't Skank" & followed it up with "Sheena Is A Ska Punker"
After that I made my way home, after getting distracted by a "water sculpture" called Appearing Rooms by German artist, Jeppe Hein... it's called a "water sculpture"... I would call it a great bit of fun with fountains... so I went playing in it with my mates Mik & Calum, and when all the fountains were up, I decided, "I'm already pissed wet through, what the hell!!" and went and ran through all of the rows of fountains, much to the delight of onlookers.
Anyhoo, so I got home, went to sleep for three hours because I was shattered, woke up and came on the net. blah blah blah.
And gotten talking to a band I am friends with The Upstarts... they're very good, and we were tlaking about having a porn themed gig down here, they hail from Aberdeen by the way... but its not looking good on that front, so I just emailed them earlier, about the possibility of, at the end of August, we go up to Aberdeen, with a coach full of our fans, and us hahah, and do a porn themed gig up their neck of the woods.
Anyways, thats all, and I'm sorry I'm not my usual ranting self. I will be back on form tomorrow and carry out my promise of an attack on ID Cards haha, weighing up the pro's and con's... I still think I need more time anyways to sort out my arguments for it.
Anyways, till next time.
Kristoff x
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
God hates gays apparently... but he also hates shrimps!
I dont know if anyone has ever heard of the hate-mongering website www.godhatesfags.com .
You know, one of those sites which have these extreme fundamentalists views, probably worse than Islamic Fundementalists, who take quotes from an ancient book (half of it being fictitious) known as the bible, and morph it into the way they want.
"SODOMY IS AN ABOMINABLE SIN, WORTHY OF DEATH.
"If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." Leviticus 20:13. "Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them." Romans 1:32"
BULLSHIT...
BULLSHIT...
BULL FUCKING SHIT!
I was taught in Sunday school that God is all loving for all of his creatures and forgives very easily, I mean, surely, if God was this infallible being, why did he put, what is regarded by the extremists in the christian church, fault in humanity, that being, whatever makes certain people homosexual?
If God is such a genius to have created Earth and all that is, surely he could fix this "fault", if its so wrong. If God is such a genius why did he make other mistakes then?
www.godhatesshrimp.com
It may sound like a parody, but, maybe to some extent, BUT, if we take in the same rules, and manipulation of biblical text, Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord. I would like, if I may, to quote some passages from the bible at you all;
Leviticus 11:9-12 says: 9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. 10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: 11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. 12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.
Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says: 9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat: 10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.
What do you make of that? Salmon is perfectly fine in Gods eyes, so is the Shark, the Swordfish... although I don't know where Jellyfish or Portugese Man O' Wars (since they are creature made out of thousands of smaller microscopic creatures) fall into this. But according to this Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels are all an abomination...
Yet, the all knowing, infallible Lord Allmighty created them... even though he hates them? What?!!? He made something he hates? Well, blimey, thats hypocritical mister God sir... why do you do these things and then say, "Oh, actually, I hate it" ... I wonder to myself,if it was like when a band do a song and it gets to number one, and gets so popular that they then hate the song and never play it again?
So there you have it, proof that God isn't all that infallible... although, that isn't in anyway proof, but none of those quotes from the bible are proof that God hates homosexuals and crustacean. So, I feel, if they can jump to those rash conclusions, nothing is stopping me.
PS. Visit http://www.godhateshomophobes.com/ . Unlike those other websites, they don't need to quote from the bible, because, if there IS a God, he would probably hate hatemongers more than homosexuals.
Thank you and goodnight. Again.
Kristoff xxx
You know, one of those sites which have these extreme fundamentalists views, probably worse than Islamic Fundementalists, who take quotes from an ancient book (half of it being fictitious) known as the bible, and morph it into the way they want.
"SODOMY IS AN ABOMINABLE SIN, WORTHY OF DEATH.
"If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." Leviticus 20:13. "Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them." Romans 1:32"
BULLSHIT...
BULLSHIT...
BULL FUCKING SHIT!
I was taught in Sunday school that God is all loving for all of his creatures and forgives very easily, I mean, surely, if God was this infallible being, why did he put, what is regarded by the extremists in the christian church, fault in humanity, that being, whatever makes certain people homosexual?
If God is such a genius to have created Earth and all that is, surely he could fix this "fault", if its so wrong. If God is such a genius why did he make other mistakes then?
www.godhatesshrimp.com
It may sound like a parody, but, maybe to some extent, BUT, if we take in the same rules, and manipulation of biblical text, Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord. I would like, if I may, to quote some passages from the bible at you all;
Leviticus 11:9-12 says: 9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. 10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: 11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. 12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.
Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says: 9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat: 10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.
What do you make of that? Salmon is perfectly fine in Gods eyes, so is the Shark, the Swordfish... although I don't know where Jellyfish or Portugese Man O' Wars (since they are creature made out of thousands of smaller microscopic creatures) fall into this. But according to this Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels are all an abomination...
Yet, the all knowing, infallible Lord Allmighty created them... even though he hates them? What?!!? He made something he hates? Well, blimey, thats hypocritical mister God sir... why do you do these things and then say, "Oh, actually, I hate it" ... I wonder to myself,if it was like when a band do a song and it gets to number one, and gets so popular that they then hate the song and never play it again?
So there you have it, proof that God isn't all that infallible... although, that isn't in anyway proof, but none of those quotes from the bible are proof that God hates homosexuals and crustacean. So, I feel, if they can jump to those rash conclusions, nothing is stopping me.
PS. Visit http://www.godhateshomophobes.com/ . Unlike those other websites, they don't need to quote from the bible, because, if there IS a God, he would probably hate hatemongers more than homosexuals.
Thank you and goodnight. Again.
Kristoff xxx
I wanna write a musical
Yes, thats right, I wanna be the next Andrew Lloyed Webber... or preferably the next Richard O' Brian.
I wanna write a goddamned musical.
However, before I would go about starting the songs, I would need to have an idea where the musical is going to go, and a basic plot. Alas, I'm not the greatest mind when it comes to stories. I have had a couple of shite ideas, and I will tell you about them.
The Tale Of Sonny Gritts : My band have a song called "The Ballad Of Sonny Gritts". Sonny Gritts is a gangster, and the song my band have is about his watery demise. I thought about telling his whole life story through song. Now this, this could be a brilliant idea, the only gangster musical that springs to mind at present, is Bugsy Malone... and we all know that is shite!
Some daft old band story : Not my suggestion! I hasten to add, there has only been one, and will only ever be one good musical about a band, and that is Hedwig & The Angry Inch. No musical about the life of a band will ever really be remotely interesting, no matter how rocking the songs are. Half the point of a musical is to tell a story. You can go to a rock show to hear a few old songs.
And it was at this point, I had an imagination failure, I guess you could call it writers block, I fell at the first hurdle, stopped writing before I even started writing.
I'm a failure, the critics will never get to appreciate the music I long to perform on stage, oh my, what am I to do? ... Umm, sorry about that, just a drama queen moment haha.
It is however, my intention, to actually write a musical, and star in it, like I said, I want to be the next Richard O' Brian.
Till next time, give me diction luvvies
Kristoff x
I wanna write a goddamned musical.
However, before I would go about starting the songs, I would need to have an idea where the musical is going to go, and a basic plot. Alas, I'm not the greatest mind when it comes to stories. I have had a couple of shite ideas, and I will tell you about them.
The Tale Of Sonny Gritts : My band have a song called "The Ballad Of Sonny Gritts". Sonny Gritts is a gangster, and the song my band have is about his watery demise. I thought about telling his whole life story through song. Now this, this could be a brilliant idea, the only gangster musical that springs to mind at present, is Bugsy Malone... and we all know that is shite!
Some daft old band story : Not my suggestion! I hasten to add, there has only been one, and will only ever be one good musical about a band, and that is Hedwig & The Angry Inch. No musical about the life of a band will ever really be remotely interesting, no matter how rocking the songs are. Half the point of a musical is to tell a story. You can go to a rock show to hear a few old songs.
And it was at this point, I had an imagination failure, I guess you could call it writers block, I fell at the first hurdle, stopped writing before I even started writing.
I'm a failure, the critics will never get to appreciate the music I long to perform on stage, oh my, what am I to do? ... Umm, sorry about that, just a drama queen moment haha.
It is however, my intention, to actually write a musical, and star in it, like I said, I want to be the next Richard O' Brian.
Till next time, give me diction luvvies
Kristoff x
Saturday, June 24, 2006
A Long Way Down
I am currently reading a fan-FUCKING-tastic book.
It's by Nick Hornby, and its called "A Long Way Down", its about a group of four people who met on the roof of a high rise building (well, I think it was 14 storeys) called Toppers' House.
The four lead characters are :
Martin - A shamed breakfast TV presenter who slept with a fifteen year old, it wasn't his fault, she was in a nightclub and claimed to be of legal concent.
Maureen - The poor woman, a devout catholic, single to a mother to a severely disabled boy of nineteen years called Matty, he can't speak or walk, and who knows if he can hear, see, or understand the world around him, Matty is just a vegetable, and has crippled Maureens life leaving her stuck in the house to look after him 24/7, and bless her, she bought posters and thinks a teenager would love for him.
Jess - A nineteen year old girl, personal problems such as her sister dissapearing a few years ago, parents she constantly argues with, and an ex boyfriend who won't give her a reason why he dumped her and avoids her at all costs.
JJ - An american pizza boy, working illegally in England after his girlfriend dumped him after his band split up. He believes she dumped him because he wasn't going to be a rock star, and after his band split up he feels he has no destination in life, other than flipping burgers till he was 61. (Although in this day and age, the retiring age could be about 80/90... so don't hold your hopes to high JJ)
The reason these four strangers met up there, was because they we're all going to commit suicide. Until one thing leads to another, they decide Jess is far too young to throw her life away, she claims that she wouldn't commit suicide if they found her ex, Chas, and got an explanation from him, so they come down from the roof, and the story follows their journeys in their life.
They start meeting regulary at Starbucks Coffee (Only because a decent coffee house had changed into Captain Coffee, with the coffe shop owner dressed in WWII clothes, saluting and such irritable nonsense) And they almost form a group of people to at least get them to St Valentines Day, where they would go over things and see where they were.
Anyways, I won't divulge much more on the book, other than the two things it has brought to my attention... Suicide, and names.
Suicide ::
Ok then, so, in Layton in Blackpool, there are about 5 high rise council flats, once all in a lovely shade of, yeah, you guessed it... grey.
But recently, one of the flats turned beige... then it got some orange stripes on it, then the one next to it turned beige, and got blue stripes on it, and now another one turned beige, and they are currently adding burgundy stripes onto it.
This brings me to my question :: Is this a desperate attempt from a local council, to make suicide rates drop?
I ask this, because, I imagine, spending at least one DAY of your life, 30 meters above ground, staring out at chavs in hoodies with ASBOS' doing happy slappings and the like, living in a grey cuboid, I'm certain it would drive anyone to suicide. So what I have guesstimated, that rather than doing the hard jobs first, of slaughtering every kid they see with daft as fuck "tramlines" (which are daft lines in the side of your head) or anyone wearing an Ecko hoodie, or a tracksuit, or perfectly white trainers wearing paint staned tracksuit bottoms and a sweatshirt, or anyone wearing a peaked cap. Then they can move on to slaughtering all football hooligans. After that, they can move onto those bastard goths who insist on being miserable, because, I know a few goths who live on council estate areas, and surely that can't be too good for the wellbeing of all the local folk's sanity can it now?
So what I am praying, is that this feable measure to reduce suicide attempts (although from the top of these 30 odd story high buildings, once you have jumped off, I highly doubt its going to be an attempt, as an attempt would insinuate, you tried and failed, and I wil pay good money to someone who jumps off with no protection, lands head first, gets up and says, ow!)
And now my second point ::
Names ::
In the book there is a character called... well, thats the whole point, even though only a minor character, he still doesn't have a name, well, rather, he does have a name, he just chooses not to use it. Instead he lets people use their imagination to give him temporary names, and can have about 300 different names in a day, yes, I suppose he is a bit of a hippy character, but you have to love hippies, or at least give them some 'spect, for sticking in their ways.
In the course of about two pages he gets called :
Dog - Coz he had a dog with him.
NoDog - Coz he didn't have his dog with him.
Flower - Coz he picked Jess a flower.
Ashtray - Coz thats how he tasted when Jess snogged his face off.
And it made me think of an interesting social challenge, I intend to go to a friends party and not use my name, and let people call me whatever they feel like, as long as it is descriptive and imaginative, not cunt, or fuckface, or such purile naughty words (says me haha)
Anywho, that brings me to the end of this blog and Doctor Who will be on in 30mins, so I don't wanna miss that.
Love from Kristoff
It's by Nick Hornby, and its called "A Long Way Down", its about a group of four people who met on the roof of a high rise building (well, I think it was 14 storeys) called Toppers' House.
The four lead characters are :
Martin - A shamed breakfast TV presenter who slept with a fifteen year old, it wasn't his fault, she was in a nightclub and claimed to be of legal concent.
Maureen - The poor woman, a devout catholic, single to a mother to a severely disabled boy of nineteen years called Matty, he can't speak or walk, and who knows if he can hear, see, or understand the world around him, Matty is just a vegetable, and has crippled Maureens life leaving her stuck in the house to look after him 24/7, and bless her, she bought posters and thinks a teenager would love for him.
Jess - A nineteen year old girl, personal problems such as her sister dissapearing a few years ago, parents she constantly argues with, and an ex boyfriend who won't give her a reason why he dumped her and avoids her at all costs.
JJ - An american pizza boy, working illegally in England after his girlfriend dumped him after his band split up. He believes she dumped him because he wasn't going to be a rock star, and after his band split up he feels he has no destination in life, other than flipping burgers till he was 61. (Although in this day and age, the retiring age could be about 80/90... so don't hold your hopes to high JJ)
The reason these four strangers met up there, was because they we're all going to commit suicide. Until one thing leads to another, they decide Jess is far too young to throw her life away, she claims that she wouldn't commit suicide if they found her ex, Chas, and got an explanation from him, so they come down from the roof, and the story follows their journeys in their life.
They start meeting regulary at Starbucks Coffee (Only because a decent coffee house had changed into Captain Coffee, with the coffe shop owner dressed in WWII clothes, saluting and such irritable nonsense) And they almost form a group of people to at least get them to St Valentines Day, where they would go over things and see where they were.
Anyways, I won't divulge much more on the book, other than the two things it has brought to my attention... Suicide, and names.
Suicide ::
Ok then, so, in Layton in Blackpool, there are about 5 high rise council flats, once all in a lovely shade of, yeah, you guessed it... grey.
But recently, one of the flats turned beige... then it got some orange stripes on it, then the one next to it turned beige, and got blue stripes on it, and now another one turned beige, and they are currently adding burgundy stripes onto it.
This brings me to my question :: Is this a desperate attempt from a local council, to make suicide rates drop?
I ask this, because, I imagine, spending at least one DAY of your life, 30 meters above ground, staring out at chavs in hoodies with ASBOS' doing happy slappings and the like, living in a grey cuboid, I'm certain it would drive anyone to suicide. So what I have guesstimated, that rather than doing the hard jobs first, of slaughtering every kid they see with daft as fuck "tramlines" (which are daft lines in the side of your head) or anyone wearing an Ecko hoodie, or a tracksuit, or perfectly white trainers wearing paint staned tracksuit bottoms and a sweatshirt, or anyone wearing a peaked cap. Then they can move on to slaughtering all football hooligans. After that, they can move onto those bastard goths who insist on being miserable, because, I know a few goths who live on council estate areas, and surely that can't be too good for the wellbeing of all the local folk's sanity can it now?
So what I am praying, is that this feable measure to reduce suicide attempts (although from the top of these 30 odd story high buildings, once you have jumped off, I highly doubt its going to be an attempt, as an attempt would insinuate, you tried and failed, and I wil pay good money to someone who jumps off with no protection, lands head first, gets up and says, ow!)
And now my second point ::
Names ::
In the book there is a character called... well, thats the whole point, even though only a minor character, he still doesn't have a name, well, rather, he does have a name, he just chooses not to use it. Instead he lets people use their imagination to give him temporary names, and can have about 300 different names in a day, yes, I suppose he is a bit of a hippy character, but you have to love hippies, or at least give them some 'spect, for sticking in their ways.
In the course of about two pages he gets called :
Dog - Coz he had a dog with him.
NoDog - Coz he didn't have his dog with him.
Flower - Coz he picked Jess a flower.
Ashtray - Coz thats how he tasted when Jess snogged his face off.
And it made me think of an interesting social challenge, I intend to go to a friends party and not use my name, and let people call me whatever they feel like, as long as it is descriptive and imaginative, not cunt, or fuckface, or such purile naughty words (says me haha)
Anywho, that brings me to the end of this blog and Doctor Who will be on in 30mins, so I don't wanna miss that.
Love from Kristoff
Friday, June 23, 2006
Deal Or No Deal & Political Parties
So, there I was, happily playing away on an online game I have come across lately, based on the popular TV gameshow, Deal Or No Deal, the online game, although being a bastardised american version of the english one, is still 100% addictive, and far more interavtive than the TV version, however you can't shout "YOU FUCKING MORONIC CUNT" at your PC screen, because you are, yourself, the fucking moronic cunt in question.
But yes, I have played this game about 20 odd times today, and it hasn't managed to get boring once, just fucking frustrating.
Anyroad, there I was, playing on it, when my mate Dan, suggested I wrote out a Manifesto for if I was in charge of a political party. I think political party is a daft term as I have never seen Tony Blair with a party blower in his gob, a shiny pirate hat strapped round his head and with some cheap, warm white wine from Bargain Booze in a clear plastic cup in his hand.
But... here goes nothing.
Cap Tax - Yes, tax those bastard cunts who sit on street corners with baseball caps perched on the back of their heads so that the peak of it sticks up at 45 degrees. Every time the wind catches the peak and blows off, it means they have to buy another one, but they get taxed every time they buy one of those.
Ban Cars & Make Public Transport Free - I fucking hate cars, I really do, and sadly, one day, I'm going have to learn how to drive one of those fuckers. They piss me off so much, because people get into them, and turn into wankers, shouting at red lights, and shouting at the car in front of them because they're going 27mph on a 20mph road. It's absurd. I rely on public transport or my feet no problem, why shouldn't they?
Make It Legal For The Homeless To Steal From Supermarkets - I needn't say much on this, but people who are homeless are humans too, and everyone deserves rights to comfort, they should be able to have food if they need it and not get spat on by wankers in the street when they have to beg.
It Is Treason To Not Agree With Me - Yes, if you dissagree with me, off by t'head. I needn't do with people with imaginations*
Condoms For Free In Pub Machines - I am sorry, but why should shy men have to go into pubs for condoms becase they are too shy to ask for them in a chemist. Even if its for a good ol' bit of rumpy pumpy, or for a posh wank.
*This is only half a true law I would bring into effect.
So there you have it, a list of laws I would have in my manifesto if I were the leader of any political party. Anyways, I best be off emailing these to Uncle Tony if he wants the labour party to stay in power next election.
Good night
xxx
But yes, I have played this game about 20 odd times today, and it hasn't managed to get boring once, just fucking frustrating.
Anyroad, there I was, playing on it, when my mate Dan, suggested I wrote out a Manifesto for if I was in charge of a political party. I think political party is a daft term as I have never seen Tony Blair with a party blower in his gob, a shiny pirate hat strapped round his head and with some cheap, warm white wine from Bargain Booze in a clear plastic cup in his hand.
But... here goes nothing.
Cap Tax - Yes, tax those bastard cunts who sit on street corners with baseball caps perched on the back of their heads so that the peak of it sticks up at 45 degrees. Every time the wind catches the peak and blows off, it means they have to buy another one, but they get taxed every time they buy one of those.
Ban Cars & Make Public Transport Free - I fucking hate cars, I really do, and sadly, one day, I'm going have to learn how to drive one of those fuckers. They piss me off so much, because people get into them, and turn into wankers, shouting at red lights, and shouting at the car in front of them because they're going 27mph on a 20mph road. It's absurd. I rely on public transport or my feet no problem, why shouldn't they?
Make It Legal For The Homeless To Steal From Supermarkets - I needn't say much on this, but people who are homeless are humans too, and everyone deserves rights to comfort, they should be able to have food if they need it and not get spat on by wankers in the street when they have to beg.
It Is Treason To Not Agree With Me - Yes, if you dissagree with me, off by t'head. I needn't do with people with imaginations*
Condoms For Free In Pub Machines - I am sorry, but why should shy men have to go into pubs for condoms becase they are too shy to ask for them in a chemist. Even if its for a good ol' bit of rumpy pumpy, or for a posh wank.
*This is only half a true law I would bring into effect.
So there you have it, a list of laws I would have in my manifesto if I were the leader of any political party. Anyways, I best be off emailing these to Uncle Tony if he wants the labour party to stay in power next election.
Good night
xxx
A gripe about bad lager & a cheer for Transvestite Shows
Well then, just been out to the pub with my dad (you may remember me mentioning my parents splitting up, so this is one of my favorite places to meet up with him), and we wen't to some pubs in Bispham.
Firstly we hit some place on the seafront where we politely waited in turn until we realised that the *gormless looking* barman was serving regulars and his friends as they came up and not noticing us... so we left, my dad in a huff, me in desperation of that sweet sweet beer.
Then my dad suggested we go to the Bispham Hotel... I warned him it was a grubby old blokes pub ran by a private brewery called "Samuel Smiths". According to their Wikipedia page (a site I often find myself browsing in the search for knowledge to fill my idiotic mind with useless facts with to baffle friends and family down the pub) it states, and I quote (but you can check the page if you don't belive me)
Ayingerbrau Lager gained a cult following in some parts of the UK and a beer drinking challenge is held annually. In 2006, the lager was renamed to Alpine Lager.
I can understand the cult following, as only a crazy cult who believe Earth was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster* could possibly imagine this was a tasty beer to go crazy for.
*This isn't a real religion, and if you follow the hyperlink you will discover for yourself, that it is a satirical text and is well worth a read, I shall be purchasing my copy when I have a job
However, I do believe that the beer drinking challenge they refer to is actually managing to drink a whole pint of this ghastly lager. All this lager does to me is confirm my belief that independant breweries should stick to making beers and stouts, but never EVER lagers.
After that, we mooched on down to the Red Lion, a pub now popular with the yuppie crowd, you know them, the young folk with more money than sense, opting for the nice tasty £15 bottle of wine to have with them whilst they talk about tactics watching the nights world cup football (ghastly sport) match, instead of back at the grubby old blokes pub of the Bispham Arms, were they were drinking ghastly lager watching a ghastly sport (actually, we're halfway through the tournament and I have avoided watching a single match, I'm quite impressed).
Anyways, so while we where there, I was temporarily put off lager, due to that pint of "Alpine Arse Juice" ... or whatever it was called, and opted for the poor student alcopop of Blue WKD, this was tasty and went down my throat quite nicely and rid my tounge of any vile shitty lager tastes.
Then I got myself a nice pint of Carling Extra Cold (which is incidentally now owned by the coors company, famous for making nasty bottled american lager which is only tasty on draught... which is hardly ever availiable), which as it says, was nice and cold, and splendidly refreshing sat in a beer garden on a warm summers evening.
Then my dad asked if I had found out about Rocky Horror Show in Liverpool, I had forgotten about it so quickly thought to myself and said "I couldn't find a number on the Rocky Horror Show site", whilst actually thinking "Oh cock shit bugger, I wanna go see it again but it's probably far too late to book a ticket and my own stupidity multiplied by my laziness and refusual to move from MSN Messenger have cursed me not to get to see The Rocky Horror Show for a second time in a month" ... maybe however, not in so many words.
So, my dad got the number and I rang up, and after hanging up, disscussing with my dad about the prices and wether it was possible, we rang up again and booked the tickets... there is no detail to go into other than...
"If you would like to hear about upcoming shows, press 1" etc, and I am sure you don't wish for me to go into details about that.
So, after booking the tickets my dad needed another drink, so he was on wifebeater and me on my prefered bevvie of Cralin Extra Cold. It was then I unleashed the beast... and started talking costumes, no self respecting Rocky Horror Show goer goes without some form of a costume, so after a whole shitload of nagging, I convinced him to go as Frank-N-Furter, in some of his works surgical scrubs whilst I go full Frank-N-Furter, high heels and suspenders. POW!!
Then I got on the tram home, got home to find my mum had put a pizza in the oven for me, I was quite happy as I was famished... only to my dissmay, I took one bite and the sheer intensity of heat brought tears to my eyes, let this be a message to you all...
Spicy Beef on pizzas is the DEVIL.
Anyhoo, I have little left to talk about now, I started this blog yesterday at quarter to twelve, and it is now quarter past twelve, so as you can tell, I have used up a whole half hour of my life telling no-one about everything... and I need a drink right now
Firstly we hit some place on the seafront where we politely waited in turn until we realised that the *gormless looking* barman was serving regulars and his friends as they came up and not noticing us... so we left, my dad in a huff, me in desperation of that sweet sweet beer.
Then my dad suggested we go to the Bispham Hotel... I warned him it was a grubby old blokes pub ran by a private brewery called "Samuel Smiths". According to their Wikipedia page (a site I often find myself browsing in the search for knowledge to fill my idiotic mind with useless facts with to baffle friends and family down the pub) it states, and I quote (but you can check the page if you don't belive me)
Ayingerbrau Lager gained a cult following in some parts of the UK and a beer drinking challenge is held annually. In 2006, the lager was renamed to Alpine Lager.
I can understand the cult following, as only a crazy cult who believe Earth was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster* could possibly imagine this was a tasty beer to go crazy for.
*This isn't a real religion, and if you follow the hyperlink you will discover for yourself, that it is a satirical text and is well worth a read, I shall be purchasing my copy when I have a job
However, I do believe that the beer drinking challenge they refer to is actually managing to drink a whole pint of this ghastly lager. All this lager does to me is confirm my belief that independant breweries should stick to making beers and stouts, but never EVER lagers.
After that, we mooched on down to the Red Lion, a pub now popular with the yuppie crowd, you know them, the young folk with more money than sense, opting for the nice tasty £15 bottle of wine to have with them whilst they talk about tactics watching the nights world cup football (ghastly sport) match, instead of back at the grubby old blokes pub of the Bispham Arms, were they were drinking ghastly lager watching a ghastly sport (actually, we're halfway through the tournament and I have avoided watching a single match, I'm quite impressed).
Anyways, so while we where there, I was temporarily put off lager, due to that pint of "Alpine Arse Juice" ... or whatever it was called, and opted for the poor student alcopop of Blue WKD, this was tasty and went down my throat quite nicely and rid my tounge of any vile shitty lager tastes.
Then I got myself a nice pint of Carling Extra Cold (which is incidentally now owned by the coors company, famous for making nasty bottled american lager which is only tasty on draught... which is hardly ever availiable), which as it says, was nice and cold, and splendidly refreshing sat in a beer garden on a warm summers evening.
Then my dad asked if I had found out about Rocky Horror Show in Liverpool, I had forgotten about it so quickly thought to myself and said "I couldn't find a number on the Rocky Horror Show site", whilst actually thinking "Oh cock shit bugger, I wanna go see it again but it's probably far too late to book a ticket and my own stupidity multiplied by my laziness and refusual to move from MSN Messenger have cursed me not to get to see The Rocky Horror Show for a second time in a month" ... maybe however, not in so many words.
So, my dad got the number and I rang up, and after hanging up, disscussing with my dad about the prices and wether it was possible, we rang up again and booked the tickets... there is no detail to go into other than...
"If you would like to hear about upcoming shows, press 1" etc, and I am sure you don't wish for me to go into details about that.
So, after booking the tickets my dad needed another drink, so he was on wifebeater and me on my prefered bevvie of Cralin Extra Cold. It was then I unleashed the beast... and started talking costumes, no self respecting Rocky Horror Show goer goes without some form of a costume, so after a whole shitload of nagging, I convinced him to go as Frank-N-Furter, in some of his works surgical scrubs whilst I go full Frank-N-Furter, high heels and suspenders. POW!!
Then I got on the tram home, got home to find my mum had put a pizza in the oven for me, I was quite happy as I was famished... only to my dissmay, I took one bite and the sheer intensity of heat brought tears to my eyes, let this be a message to you all...
Spicy Beef on pizzas is the DEVIL.
Anyhoo, I have little left to talk about now, I started this blog yesterday at quarter to twelve, and it is now quarter past twelve, so as you can tell, I have used up a whole half hour of my life telling no-one about everything... and I need a drink right now
Desert Island Discs
Yes, I have stolen this off Craig's blog, but there is jack shit of fuck all happening on the net, and TV, so I though I would spend some time telling you about 10 CD's I would take to a desert island, should I have the beforehand knowledge that I was going to be in a plane crash above the sea near a desert island. Although, if I knew to take 10 CD's with me because I was going to be stranded, I would actually choose to not leave my house as the chances of my bedroom becoming a desert islnad overnight are slim to none.
So here I go ::
1) Reel Big Fish - Favourite Noise :: A greatest hits album of my favorite band. I think that explains a lot of it, but this album is brilliant, with songs about lesbians (She Has A Girlfriend Now), a cover of Ahah's classic song, Take On Me, and a song which opens with the lines "Well first of all, I'lld like to say fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, FUCK OFF!!", which I feel sums up me quite well.
2) The God Awfuls - Next Stop Armegeddon :: A great punk rock CD, by a totally underrated band, The God Awfuls are just brilliant, fast punk rock music to keep you stimulated on an island with no one else there.
3) The Smiths - The Singles :: Craig mentioned it, and I'm going to too, its a great compilation of the greatest songs by Manchesters most influencial band, The Smiths. Such an amazing voice and great haunting sounds, especially on "How Soon Is Now"
4) Massive Attack - Blue Lines :: Yeah, sounds daft, a great big ska punker like myself listening to chilled out trip hop, well, it does happen, and I am proud to say that Blue Lines is one of my favorite albums. Its such a great album to listen to on a summers day in the early evening with an icy cold can of Carling... which I am fresh out of, and I have no money at all ... boohissboo.
5) Less Than Jake - Borders & Boundries :: If only for the awesome song, "Gainsville Rock City" this album is a must, it's not the only reason I would take it, it has tonnes of great songs including about 6 live songs at the end of the CD. It's a great feel good punk/ska album.
6) [spunge] - That Should Cover It :: [spunge] are a brilliant UK based ska punk band, not as good as TEPODD, but bloody good nonetheless. Some great covers on it, including my favorite, Elvis Costello's "Olivers Army"
7) The Rocky Horror Picture Show OST :: This CD is brilliant, even though I don't own it, it is still brilliant, all the songs from the greatest musical ever known to man. I saw it live recently and was blown away, and the songs are just bloody fucking brilliant. Fact.
8) Pickled Dick - Panda-Moanium :: A great band on an indie punk label, their songs never get further serious than singing about pirates sailing the irish sea in "Ship Ahoy", attention seekers in "Hypochondriac", parties in the jungle in "Jungle Jam" or shemales in "Mike & Angelo". They're a brilliant band you have to love, its illegal not to... or it should be.
9) Goldfinger - Greatest Hits :: I love my greatest hits albums, its a great way of bypassing album filler, which sadly is a lot with Goldfinger albums, especially more so in Disconnection Notice, which, quite frankly is a whole album of filler, and just more proof that he should stick to being behind the recording desk, but, all this said. It's a fantastic album, which comes with a DVD with loads of videos on it.
10) A cd burnt on my pc, with all usefull audio from Ray Mears Survival programmers about being stranded on a desert island, because if I find myself in this position I would like to get off instead of just sitting there like a berk hoping for a boat to come past and see SOS written in stones on the beach.
... but, as Craig mentioned on his Desert Island Discs, consindering I'm going to be stuck on a fucking island and I doubt it has an electricity supply, and if it does, it's not really remote, and nobody said I could take a personal CD player or anything like that.
Well, all in all I think I have a good choice there.
See, two blogs in one day, I'm doing well
So here I go ::
1) Reel Big Fish - Favourite Noise :: A greatest hits album of my favorite band. I think that explains a lot of it, but this album is brilliant, with songs about lesbians (She Has A Girlfriend Now), a cover of Ahah's classic song, Take On Me, and a song which opens with the lines "Well first of all, I'lld like to say fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, FUCK OFF!!", which I feel sums up me quite well.
2) The God Awfuls - Next Stop Armegeddon :: A great punk rock CD, by a totally underrated band, The God Awfuls are just brilliant, fast punk rock music to keep you stimulated on an island with no one else there.
3) The Smiths - The Singles :: Craig mentioned it, and I'm going to too, its a great compilation of the greatest songs by Manchesters most influencial band, The Smiths. Such an amazing voice and great haunting sounds, especially on "How Soon Is Now"
4) Massive Attack - Blue Lines :: Yeah, sounds daft, a great big ska punker like myself listening to chilled out trip hop, well, it does happen, and I am proud to say that Blue Lines is one of my favorite albums. Its such a great album to listen to on a summers day in the early evening with an icy cold can of Carling... which I am fresh out of, and I have no money at all ... boohissboo.
5) Less Than Jake - Borders & Boundries :: If only for the awesome song, "Gainsville Rock City" this album is a must, it's not the only reason I would take it, it has tonnes of great songs including about 6 live songs at the end of the CD. It's a great feel good punk/ska album.
6) [spunge] - That Should Cover It :: [spunge] are a brilliant UK based ska punk band, not as good as TEPODD, but bloody good nonetheless. Some great covers on it, including my favorite, Elvis Costello's "Olivers Army"
7) The Rocky Horror Picture Show OST :: This CD is brilliant, even though I don't own it, it is still brilliant, all the songs from the greatest musical ever known to man. I saw it live recently and was blown away, and the songs are just bloody fucking brilliant. Fact.
8) Pickled Dick - Panda-Moanium :: A great band on an indie punk label, their songs never get further serious than singing about pirates sailing the irish sea in "Ship Ahoy", attention seekers in "Hypochondriac", parties in the jungle in "Jungle Jam" or shemales in "Mike & Angelo". They're a brilliant band you have to love, its illegal not to... or it should be.
9) Goldfinger - Greatest Hits :: I love my greatest hits albums, its a great way of bypassing album filler, which sadly is a lot with Goldfinger albums, especially more so in Disconnection Notice, which, quite frankly is a whole album of filler, and just more proof that he should stick to being behind the recording desk, but, all this said. It's a fantastic album, which comes with a DVD with loads of videos on it.
10) A cd burnt on my pc, with all usefull audio from Ray Mears Survival programmers about being stranded on a desert island, because if I find myself in this position I would like to get off instead of just sitting there like a berk hoping for a boat to come past and see SOS written in stones on the beach.
... but, as Craig mentioned on his Desert Island Discs, consindering I'm going to be stuck on a fucking island and I doubt it has an electricity supply, and if it does, it's not really remote, and nobody said I could take a personal CD player or anything like that.
Well, all in all I think I have a good choice there.
See, two blogs in one day, I'm doing well
Ok, lets see if this one lasts more than a month
Yes, this is about the fourth blog I have had!!
I got bored, forgot passwords etc with my last ones... mostly getting bored.
Well, I have been reading my friend Craig's blog recently, and it has inspired me to get round to having my own blog. I was also pushed towards it today whilst watching UKTV Foods show - Food Uncut, which replaced Great Food Bites, which was nothing more than a mere clip show of previous things I saw about a month ago, repeated regulary. So I am quite happy with the appearance of this new show.
On it they were saying about blogging about food, and recipes you have and if you want to slag off a restaurant you are free to do so. I won't be doing that, my recipe's are mine and I'm a curmudgeondy old git (at the tender age of 18) and I don't want theiving bastards stealing my ideas.
But all these factors have only minor roles to play in me taking up a blog. The main reason my blogs never lasted all that long before is...
My life was bloody boring before
And, even though, I am not yet running the counrty, nor am I running a small hamlet, and nor am I running anything inbetween... or anything quite as interesting as that.
I am finally finding things to talk about because my life has become interesting, I have a band, my parents have split up (not good, but its made a significant change in my life), I have been at college (and failed my course because of parents and stress etc), turned 18, so I go out drinking and forget things... so in actual fact blogs about my nights out drinking will be something more along the lines of ::
"Err.. wen't out last night, woke up on the floor at a mate of a mate's house... I don't know what happened, but my jaw aches"
So anyroad... I thought I would start off my blog with a few staple facts about myself.
My name :: I was named Kristopher David Ball... incidentally I still am. The name has a story. An embarressing one. I shall tell you.
My mum was a big fan (and probably still is sadly) of David Sole, famous for playing Starsky in Starsky & Hutch (No kiddies, it wasn't Ben Stiller, we're talking about the 80's TV Cop show) and I, sadly, was named after his son, Kristoffer David Sole. David Sole had a breif pop career, and recorded an LP with a song called Kristoffer David, that he wrote for his son, my mum love/s/d/(delete as nessecary) this song, and wanted me to be called Kristoffer David. My dad was quite happy for me to be called Christopher David, they eventually came to a compromise of taking the good bits of both names (the "K" and the "ph") to give me the name Kristopher David Ball.
My age :: 18, on the 3rd of September 1987... about 5 minuites of being named Kristopher David Ball, I was born, I don't know how much I weighed so don't ask... I never understand when someone says "I've had a baby", one of the first questions asked is always "How much did s/he weigh?"... I mean, does it matter? They have a baby and you want to know how many bags of sugar they are equivilent to?!?!
My hobbies :: Well, I play guitar in my affore mentioned band and sing in it too. We play ska punk music, which is fun indeed. We have trumpets and everything. I also like watching UKTV Food, as you may have gathered. Another hobby is drinking... a lot. I shall divulge more on my drinking exploits at a later date.
My job :: I am currently unemployed, so if you want to offer me a job, please, you're more than welcome to. I did however go for a job interview at Fleetwood's Subway, which opens on Wednesday, I hope I get the job I do!
Bands I like :: The Emotional Problems Of Dirk Diggler (they're fit), Reel Big Fish are amazing, and I met them all too! & Jethro (my mates band, we are talking about doing a split EP with them too!!)
Anyways, I think that is enough for right now, but I intend to blog AT LEAST once a week, and if I don't, just bug me on msn at :: krisballantieverything@hotmail.com or email me at kristoffska@yahoo.co.uk .
Thank you and good night
I got bored, forgot passwords etc with my last ones... mostly getting bored.
Well, I have been reading my friend Craig's blog recently, and it has inspired me to get round to having my own blog. I was also pushed towards it today whilst watching UKTV Foods show - Food Uncut, which replaced Great Food Bites, which was nothing more than a mere clip show of previous things I saw about a month ago, repeated regulary. So I am quite happy with the appearance of this new show.
On it they were saying about blogging about food, and recipes you have and if you want to slag off a restaurant you are free to do so. I won't be doing that, my recipe's are mine and I'm a curmudgeondy old git (at the tender age of 18) and I don't want theiving bastards stealing my ideas.
But all these factors have only minor roles to play in me taking up a blog. The main reason my blogs never lasted all that long before is...
My life was bloody boring before
And, even though, I am not yet running the counrty, nor am I running a small hamlet, and nor am I running anything inbetween... or anything quite as interesting as that.
I am finally finding things to talk about because my life has become interesting, I have a band, my parents have split up (not good, but its made a significant change in my life), I have been at college (and failed my course because of parents and stress etc), turned 18, so I go out drinking and forget things... so in actual fact blogs about my nights out drinking will be something more along the lines of ::
"Err.. wen't out last night, woke up on the floor at a mate of a mate's house... I don't know what happened, but my jaw aches"
So anyroad... I thought I would start off my blog with a few staple facts about myself.
My name :: I was named Kristopher David Ball... incidentally I still am. The name has a story. An embarressing one. I shall tell you.
My mum was a big fan (and probably still is sadly) of David Sole, famous for playing Starsky in Starsky & Hutch (No kiddies, it wasn't Ben Stiller, we're talking about the 80's TV Cop show) and I, sadly, was named after his son, Kristoffer David Sole. David Sole had a breif pop career, and recorded an LP with a song called Kristoffer David, that he wrote for his son, my mum love/s/d/(delete as nessecary) this song, and wanted me to be called Kristoffer David. My dad was quite happy for me to be called Christopher David, they eventually came to a compromise of taking the good bits of both names (the "K" and the "ph") to give me the name Kristopher David Ball.
My age :: 18, on the 3rd of September 1987... about 5 minuites of being named Kristopher David Ball, I was born, I don't know how much I weighed so don't ask... I never understand when someone says "I've had a baby", one of the first questions asked is always "How much did s/he weigh?"... I mean, does it matter? They have a baby and you want to know how many bags of sugar they are equivilent to?!?!
My hobbies :: Well, I play guitar in my affore mentioned band and sing in it too. We play ska punk music, which is fun indeed. We have trumpets and everything. I also like watching UKTV Food, as you may have gathered. Another hobby is drinking... a lot. I shall divulge more on my drinking exploits at a later date.
My job :: I am currently unemployed, so if you want to offer me a job, please, you're more than welcome to. I did however go for a job interview at Fleetwood's Subway, which opens on Wednesday, I hope I get the job I do!
Bands I like :: The Emotional Problems Of Dirk Diggler (they're fit), Reel Big Fish are amazing, and I met them all too! & Jethro (my mates band, we are talking about doing a split EP with them too!!)
Anyways, I think that is enough for right now, but I intend to blog AT LEAST once a week, and if I don't, just bug me on msn at :: krisballantieverything@hotmail.com or email me at kristoffska@yahoo.co.uk .
Thank you and good night
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