Deal Or No Deal & Political Parties

So, there I was, happily playing away on an online game I have come across lately, based on the popular TV gameshow, Deal Or No Deal, the online game, although being a bastardised american version of the english one, is still 100% addictive, and far more interavtive than the TV version, however you can't shout "YOU FUCKING MORONIC CUNT" at your PC screen, because you are, yourself, the fucking moronic cunt in question.

But yes, I have played this game about 20 odd times today, and it hasn't managed to get boring once, just fucking frustrating.

Anyroad, there I was, playing on it, when my mate Dan, suggested I wrote out a Manifesto for if I was in charge of a political party. I think political party is a daft term as I have never seen Tony Blair with a party blower in his gob, a shiny pirate hat strapped round his head and with some cheap, warm white wine from Bargain Booze in a clear plastic cup in his hand.

But... here goes nothing.

Cap Tax - Yes, tax those bastard cunts who sit on street corners with baseball caps perched on the back of their heads so that the peak of it sticks up at 45 degrees. Every time the wind catches the peak and blows off, it means they have to buy another one, but they get taxed every time they buy one of those.

Ban Cars & Make Public Transport Free - I fucking hate cars, I really do, and sadly, one day, I'm going have to learn how to drive one of those fuckers. They piss me off so much, because people get into them, and turn into wankers, shouting at red lights, and shouting at the car in front of them because they're going 27mph on a 20mph road. It's absurd. I rely on public transport or my feet no problem, why shouldn't they?

Make It Legal For The Homeless To Steal From Supermarkets - I needn't say much on this, but people who are homeless are humans too, and everyone deserves rights to comfort, they should be able to have food if they need it and not get spat on by wankers in the street when they have to beg.

It Is Treason To Not Agree With Me - Yes, if you dissagree with me, off by t'head. I needn't do with people with imaginations*

Condoms For Free In Pub Machines - I am sorry, but why should shy men have to go into pubs for condoms becase they are too shy to ask for them in a chemist. Even if its for a good ol' bit of rumpy pumpy, or for a posh wank.

*This is only half a true law I would bring into effect.

So there you have it, a list of laws I would have in my manifesto if I were the leader of any political party. Anyways, I best be off emailing these to Uncle Tony if he wants the labour party to stay in power next election.

Good night

xxx