I'd like to say how much I love BBC iPlayer. It's bloody great, and I'm going to now dedicate a blog to the programmes which I mainly watch on it, all three of them, and they're all reality television programmes.
Now, I can sense some of you already shaking your heads at the fact that I watch reality television, but no! This isn't Big Brother we're talking about (well, it's BBC for a start, and we all know Big Brother is a Channel Four programme), but the following three programmes.
Great British Menu - A cookery show, where two chefs compete against each other to cook a meal for my culinary hero and many other top chefs from across the world, at The Gherkin in London.
The Apprentice - A show, where 16 of the country's best (read completely incompetent idiots) businessmen and women compete to land a job as an apprentice to Sir Alan Sugar.
Funny Business - A comedy talent show, looking for a welsh comedian, who goes on to win a £30,000 contract with the manager of The Comedy Club who promote comedians and own comedy venues across the country.
Now then, let's discuss these shows in a bit more detail, or to be exact, no discussion, just my opinions.
Firstly, Great British Menu, we're onto the last of the heats at the moment, and for all but one episode, I've predicted the right winner (the episode I got wrong being the Welsh episode, neither of the chefs where Welsh anyway, they just lived there!). At the moment they are in Northern Ireland, and the two contestants are Danny Millar and Noel McMeel, and my money is on Danny Millar. I like underdogs (Noel has been in it before and has more experience of the competition), also, the welsh competitor who lost had been in the competition before, and she lost the last time around, and the Noel lost the first time around, so I've got a feeling that he will lose again.
The emphasis this year is on modern British cooking, and whilst both have some modern techniques in their cooking style, Noel presents his meals in a very classical way (and some I would call somewhat twee), whilst Danny's meals not only employ modern cooking methods, but also push boundaries of what people come to expect, desserts are tomorrow, and then judging on Friday, and we'll find out if my tips are right then, the proof is, as they say, in the pudding (ho ho ho).
The Apprentice is something I've only gotten into this series, but I'm finding it compelling viewing, and a fellow blogger I've come to know about through Rhys' blogs has already blogged about it.
I can't really comment much on the contestants (known as candidates in this programme), because as a foodie, this business stuff isn't something I'm too familiar with (unlike how I can comment on chefs and cooking styles)... however, what I can say, is that I wouldn't employ a SINGLE person on this programme, I wouldn't even put them in charge of organising a piss up in a brewery, nor would I leave them to plan a shag in a brothel. They are a hopeless shower of shit, who seem to have some crazy idea that brainstorm diagrams, showing how they could promote things, spend all day in an office, and then panic when they've planned it all, yet not gotten on with it.
The level of bitching on that programme too, it makes me want to kill. Grrr, it's fascinating, but really, the people on that programme make me despair!
The final programme I have to comment on, is Funny Business, which was great, although I do not agree with the winning contestants. Not in the slightest do I agree.
The first winner was the skinny bloke, I think he was called Rob. How he won, I don't know. He just regurgitated jokes that have been going for years, that I heard when I was in school. The second winner (because they were indecisive twats) was called Kev, I think. He was a bit smutty, but that doesn't bother me... what bothers me is that he wasn't all that funny with smut, in the semi's and the finals, he made mistakes, in the semi final, he totally forgot his lines, and they put him through because he recovered it. In my opinion, he should have been dropped from the competition because of that, and sent to do more gigs, practise in front of more people and not forget lines.
I think the overall winner should have been the guy who went on last, I can't remember his name, but he did a joke about him looking like Elvis Costello. I liked him, I like Elvis Costello, he's good, and he was funny (not Elvis Costello, I've never heard him tell a joke, I'm talking about this comedian who did a joke about him looking a bit like Elvis Costello)
In short, BBC iPlayer is great, because I live in a place where the TV doesn't receive signal that well, and the only thing I watch on it is Doctor Who, and when I'm not watching that, Matt is playing on his Xbox with it.
This has been my longest blog in fucking ages, and my fingers are tired.