A general ramble I guess... many topics

Ok then, I guess I should do this in order, but if the order goes out of synch, I'm sorry, I am slightly drunk & very stupid.

Actually, fuck order, this will come as I type it, I won't even delete anything I say except spelling mistakes, this will be a written silloquie (is that how you spell the fucker)...

So, the first thing that comes to mind is that my fit band The Emotional Problems Of Dirk Diggler, we played out first public gig on Friday 14th. We were a bit immense, probably one of the better bands of the night (but I guess that is down to opinion), although many people came up to me and said how good we are and how good a frontman I was (I am a far better frontman than musician hahah)

We played some rocking songs, started the set with Blitzkrieg Bop, which we MAGICALLY morph into UK Fans Can't Skank, Sheena Is A Ska Punker (Our take on The Ramones classic, Sheena Is A Punk Rocker), Pardon My French (Our ode to swear words, including the chant of "FUCK CUNT WANK SHIT FUCK CUNT WANK SHIT"), that song was swiflty followed up with The Ballad Of Sonny Gritts, (My favorite song of ours, the tale of a 1920's New York gangster Mully and I came up with who ends with a grizzly death, a powerful as fuck song)...

BUT!! We ended the set, with a great song to finish on..

THE TIME WARP!! I can't really think of a better song to end on really... and I'm not going to try.

I thought the audience could have been a bit happier, but there were too many younguns and too many chavs there I persume to even understand ska remotely... or my jokes... people got really offended at "How do you know when your sisters on her period? ......... Your dads dick tastes funny" and were offended by the chant in pardon my french.... FUCKING LOSERS!!

Next in the news is that my mums (dickhead) boyfriend is stupider than I thought, oh yes, he didn't know that a star was like our sun, he said "But the sun is massive and is out during the day"... get this, he thought a shooting star was a real star colliding with earth... and then tonight he asked me why a certain star had moved... I'm sorry, but how can ANYBODY be so obtuse?

Also, before I go, my band has two new dates ::

The Royal Oak - Poulton - 30th July
The Royal Venue - Blackpool - 17th August (Stand in bassist coz Mully is fucking off to Cyprus)

Right then chaps, my arm aches, I'm off...

Kristoff Out